How to encourage kids to do their school work without tears

Tired of the daily Homework Battle? Here are 12 Tried and True Tips How to Encourage your kids to do their school work without tears.

How do you motivate your child to do their school work? Many parents will tell you it is a struggle and the cause of tears for both the child and the parent. This article is here to help! Here are 12 Ways to encourage kids to do their school work without tears.

Whether you homeschool, you are doing virtual learning with your kids or they are coming home with homework, we all know the struggle that it is sometimes to get our kids to sit and do their school work.

With some incentives, planning and a little practice, things can run more smoothly. Take heart, Moms and Dads, it does get better! 😊

Note; much of this is geared toward homeschoolers or working from home but most can be applied to any school or homework.

Give it in small batches.

No one likes to be given a huge pile of work to do. For a child, especially a young child, that is just too overwhelming!

Give them one subject at a time; even allow them to choose what to work on first, second, third.

Even giving a short break between those subjects or small piles of work may be how you need to start out. See the Brain Break section below.

Give Attainable Goals

I gave my kids a Free Printable Weekly Schedule for Each Subject (coming soon!) each week that allowed them to see exactly that they had to do each day and for the whole week. They highlighted when they were finished and that was satisfying and since they could see ahead, they would often do some work for the next day—or two. They loved to proudly come to me and hand me their sheet for the week on Wednesday or Thursday and say, “I’m done! For the week!” I loved it too! 😊

They can see each block of work and cross it off as it is done. That is such a feeling of accomplishment!

Along with giving work in small batches is giving Brain Breaks as needed.

Between each subject like above is also a perfect time for a Brain Break. That gives them something to look forward to so schoolwork isn’t just a huge pile of stress to them.

It is good for both our bodies and brains to take a short break to get moving! It refreshes our brains and is helpful to be more productive.

Brain breaks don’t have to take a long time—most are 3-5 minutes–but they are so rewarding. They get the blood flowing, are fun and everyone looks forward to them!

I have a separate post all about Brain Breaks for Kids; why they are important, when to use them, how to use them and even cards to print out with over 50 ideas for brain breaks to use in your homeschool or classroom.

Allow the child to decide what to do first, next.

It can help to allow the child to feel like he has some control over his work. As long as he willingly works on what he decides to do (that is the deal!), this is a good strategy.

Have Supplies Handy and an Organized Work Area.

It doesn’t help to be running around looking for things you need. Have your supplies ready and handy.

Going along with supplies nearby is having the work area organized and cleaned up. A cluttered work area does not encourage good work. Taking just 5 minutes to clean up before starting school work is well worth the time it takes.

“Inside, Outside, Upside Down”

This book by Stan Berenstain was one of our favorites and was a great heading for this subject.

We often moved school out to the picnic table on a beautiful day; in the sunshine if it was cool or in the shade if it was hot. The fresh air did wonders and gave great opportunities for quick brain breaks.

Who says a child must SIT to do school work? Maybe they like to stand at the counter to answer questions. For many children, the counter is the perfect height. Or use a clipboard to write on the sofa.

Unless it is something like penmanship that must be in their best handwriting, sitting still and straight is usually overrated.

I love this picture of one of my sons studying when he was young. It got done so I didn’t complain.

Be nearby for support and help.

Younger children especially, don’t like to work alone. One of my sons in particular was like this. They don’t like to feel like they are the “only ones’” that have to do something. It helped him a lot if it would sit with him. I found things to do at the table with him and sometimes would even do similar work with him. We would do math together or draw. Company is always nice! Besides, Mom—Dad, this is time you will never, ever regret. I promise you!

As they get older, you can get farther and farther away and give them more independence but when they are young, they truly do need you to be nearby.  

        Let your child work at the counter while you wash dishes.

        Bring the laundry to fold at the kitchen table while they do their math.

        Sit down at the table with them to do your homework; pay the bills, make your grocery list, meal plan, or lesson plans while they work.

Make it as fun as possible.

We don’t always have control on what work needs to be done, especially if they are doing assignments for school, but sometimes we can make things more fun.

For example, vary spelling practice as many ways as possible instead of just writing words over and over. Check out Over 60 Ideas to Practice Spelling Words. I will have similar posts for other subjects as time goes on.

Instead of doing dreary old math flashcards, attach numbers to the wall and allow them to shoot the answer with a nerf gun or write the answers on notecards or paper bags, place them on the floor and let them stomp on them or race to grab it up—just something to let them move and make it fun!

Change up writing utensils; just allowing mine to use a pen instead of a pencil for their journals or markers instead of pencils (pencils are so boring!) for math worked wonders!

Provide a distraction free place to work.

Try to keep siblings and pets busy in another area (See How to keep your young children busy while homeschooling your older children) and keep the TV and other media quiet and off while they work. Even if someone else is finished their work and watching TV in another room, it is terribly distracting to try to concentrate while listening to a show you like.

Have a routine.

For Homework: If doing homework after school, putting things away, changing clothes, having a snack, and a little playtime before homework will probably be helpful. Always let the child know what the plan is and what is happening next. If you allow some playtime before homework, set a timer and tell them how long they will have so they know what to expect. With practice, it will get easier. Children do well with routine. Be sure too, that they are not hungry or thirsty. No one wants to work when they are uncomfortable.

For Homeschool: Some do better working first thing in the morning and others after lunch or even dinner. Experiment to find what works best for your family and then get into your routine. Remember: young children need only 90 minutes or less per day of schooling.  See Homeschool Hours By Grade Chart by the Illinois State Board of Education that outlines how many minutes per day each grade level should have. There is no reason that can’t be done when younger siblings nap in the afternoon or when it works best for you.

Reward for Work Well Done

At first, daily or even row by row rewards may be needed. Maybe a favorite snack or treat at the end of each row would encourage painful math to be finished; four problems solved = a gummy bear, grape, M&M or whatever you would like it to be. 😊

We used reward charts for many different things. Stickers can be bought very inexpensively at the Dollar Tree or many places. These adorable Reward Charts come in over a dozen themes and they can just circle one for each reward. At the end of the row (or bottom of the page—whichever works best for you), give whatever reward you choose. Be sure it is clear what they are aiming for; a prize from the prize box, getting to choose what is for dinner, staying up later than normal, a special movie, whatever. It is good to decide ahead of time what the reward will be. A sticker or circle for end of good day of school is satisfying and then 5 at the end of the week (hopefully) would be rewarded with a prize or treat. There are lots of ideas in the post too.

Don’t stress.

Homeschoolers:

Especially when they are young, it is just not worth stressing. As the chart linked above shows us, young children don’t need that many minutes per day of structured school work. If some days you just don’t get much done, it is OK. Other days will make up for it. Just keep working. As a homeschooler, we have flexibility.

Even for our older kids, it is not worth getting stressed. Happy work is much more productive than stressful work! Just keep working and it will get done.

Homework for Teachers:

If you are doing homework for a teacher, you do have less flexibility. It is still true that you want to try not to stress though! Your child will pick up on it.

If homework time is very stressful, it could be helpful to connect with the teacher. Be positive but ask what you might do to help your child accomplish his or her work better. Don’t go into the conversation with blame that it is too much or too hard but just ask how you may help better.

If it IS too much or too hard, be specific about that. Tell the teacher how long it takes to accomplish the homework or what exactly is the most difficult. Maybe the teacher doesn’t realize it is a bit much or that your child (or a lot of the class) needs a little more help in a certain area.

When my oldest was in third grade, he went to school and came home with a project to do. As I read about it, I was stressed! The next day, I asked the teacher about it and she explained more and it really was not that bad at all. I was making it worse than it was and my son ended up enjoying the process. I was so glad I talked to her and didn’t ruin it for him!

In Conclusion:

Try a few of these to start and see how things change. Be consistent and patient. Some of them will take some practice before they become a habit but you and your child will get into the flow of it and school work will get done. I hope these will encourage your kids to do their school work without tears. 😊

Remember too; hugs and encouragement go a long way. 😊

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