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These 137 New Year Jokes for Kids will keep them happy until next year! Includes 36 Knock Knock Jokes!
These 137 New Year Jokes for Kids will go in one year and out the other! These fun jokes will keep you laughing into the night and help pass the time as you wait until midnight!
This is a collection from the internet and a few I made myself. I tried to choose the best ones. I hope you like them!
What other New Year Jokes have you heard that you love? Leave them below in a comment and I will add them to the list with your name!
Have you made one up? That is even better!
More New Year Posts
I also have a New Year Word Search and a New Year Word Scramble. They are both in 2 levels so everyone can play and free of course. Also check out 15 New Year’s Eve Party Food Ideas.
A New Year About Me Printable is a wonderful way to record stats and memories about your child each year on the first day of the New Year! New Year How Many Words Printables and New Year I Spy printables are also loads of fun!
Follow my New Year’s Pinterest Board for dozens of ideas from all around the web! I am constantly finding new things to add so there will be new things all the time!
More Jokes
The New Year Jokes
What is a cow’s favorite holiday?
Moo-year’s Eve
What does a ghost say on January 1?
Happy boo year!
What is a dog’s New Year’s resolution?
To paws and reflect.
What’s a cat’s favorite New Year’s resolution?
To purr-sue its dreams!
Why did the boy bring a ruler to the countdown?
He wanted to measure the excitement.
Why was the boy’s new year’s resolution to be like a calendar the next year?
He wanted to have lots of dates
What’s a spider’s New Year’s resolution?
To spend less time on the web!
Why do you need a jeweler on December 31?
To ring in the New Year.
Why is the person who plans the Time’s Square celebration on New Year’s a failure?
They always drop the ball.
Why do calendars always live the last week of December like it’s their last?
Because their days are numbered!
Why did the employee lose his job at the calendar factory?
He took a day off.
Why should you never anger fireworks on New Year’s Eve?
You might just set them off!
What is a caterpillar’s New Year’s resolution?
To turn over a new leaf.
What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?
To travel more.
What is corn’s favorite holiday?
New Ear’s Day.
What’s a penguin’s New Year’s tradition?
Breaking the ice.
What’s a frog’s resolution?
To ribbit more often.
Why did the snowman always win party games?
He was the coolest under pressure.
Who gets the most excited about the New Year’s Eve countdown?
Calendar companies.
Why did the fireworks sit quietly at the party?
They were trying not to blow their top.
Did you hear about the kittens that got into a New Year’s fight?
It was a cat-tastrophe.
What did one dog say to the other after the ball dropped at midnight?
Nothing. Dogs can’t talk.
What should a farmer give his wife at 12 a.m. on New Year’s?
Hogs and kisses.
Why did the dog love New Year’s Eve?
It was paw-some!
What did the cat say at midnight on Dec 31st?
“Happy Mew Year!”
Why don’t calendars argue?
They always agree on dates.
What happened when an iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve?
One was charged and the other was let off!
Why should you never ask confetti for New Year’s resolution ideas?
They are way too scattered!
What did the dog say on New Year’s Day?
“Woof, it’s been a ruff year!”
Which month has 28 days?
All of them.
Where can you find comedians at a New Year’s Eve party?
In the punch line.
Why is New Year’s a slice of bread’s least favorite holiday?
It has to make a toast.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to Times Square on New Year’s Eve?
He had no body to go with.
What’s the easiest way to make an eggroll on New Year’s?
Just push it.
Where did the chef celebrate New Year’s?
Thyme‘s Square.
What’s a balloon’s favorite kind of New Year’s story?
One that’s uplifting!
Why did the sheep throw a New Year’s party?
It wanted to have a woolly good time.
What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve?
Chill out.
What did the bull say on January 1?
Happy New Steer.
Why should you stand on your left foot during the NYE countdown?
So you can start the New Year on the right foot.
What’s a snowman’s favorite party trick?
Freezing the dance floor.
In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?
Every year.
What’s the biggest con of New Year’s eve?
The con-fetti!
What do you say when bidding farewell on Dec. 31?
“See you next year!”
How do astronauts host a New Year’s Eve party in space?
They planet.
What do New Year’s Day parades have in common with Santa Claus?
No one is awake to see either of them.
Which New Year’s resolution is always successful?
A resolution to break a resolution.
Why did everyone invite the broom to the New Year’s party?
It really swept in the new year!
Why did the invisible man skip watching the ball drop on New Year’s Eve?
He just couldn’t see himself doing it.
What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?
Hoppy New Year!
Why did the paper go to the gym in the new year?
His New Year’s resolution was to get shredded like confetti!
What do you call a penguin on New Year’s Eve?
A cool party guest.
What did one snowman say to the other on New Year’s?
I only have ice for you.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow at midnight?
It’s pasture bedtime.
Why couldn’t the man make a reservation at a fancy Italian restaurant for New Year’s Eve?
It would cost him a pretty penne.
I don’t like these Chinese New Year celebrations.
They tend to Drag-on!
Did you hear about the paint boat that sank on New Year’s Day?
All the sailors were marooned.
Where did medieval people go to celebrate New Year’s Eve?
Knight clubs.
What kind of bagel travels on New Year’s?
A plain bagel.
What did George Washington do in the days leading up to New Year’s?
He made a New Year’s revolution.
Did you hear about the firecracker’s New Year’s Eve party?
It was a BANG!
Why did the calendar refuse to celebrate New Year’s?
It needed a day off.
What did the weasel say when he opened a bottle of bubbly at the end of the year?
Pop!
What did Adam say to Eve on Dec. 31st ?
“It’s New Year, Eve.”
Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
To start off the new year in a cool way.
What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?
The New Year’s Eve cleanup crew.
What do farmers grow on January 1?
New Year’s Hay.
Why did the woman start making breakfast at 11:59 p.m. on December 31?
She wanted a New Year’s toast.
What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?
I haven’t seen you for a year!
Why did the battery leave town on New Year’s?
It needed to recharge.
Why should you always make a New Year’s resolution to be like Dr. Frankenstein?
Because it’s always good to make new friends!
What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?
“Happy New Cheer!”
Why did Dracula pass out on New Year’s Eve?
There was a count down.
What kind of joke won’t get any reaction at a party?
A chemistry joke!
What did the woman say when she was offered a raisin on New Year’s Eve?
“No thanks. I already have a date.”
Why don’t we ever hear jokes about midnight?
Because they’re too dark.
What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec. 31?
New Year’s Steve!
What did Dad say at 11:59 on New Years Eve?
I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.
Why did the clock get a promotion on New Year’s Day?
It was about time.
What’s a turtle’s resolution?
To come out of its shell more.
What was the optometrist’s favorite New Year’s celebration?
2020
What’s an owl’s resolution?
To give a hoot about the new year.
How do you keep a snowball entertained at a party?
Tell it some cool jokes.
Why should you sprinkle sugar on your pillow on New Year’s Eve?
To start the year with sweet dreams.
Why are soccer players the worst at following through with their New Year’s resolutions?
Because they always seem to be running away from their goals!
What’s a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other.
What’s a frog’s favorite midnight snack?
Hopcorn.
Why do fireworks always date each other?
Because sparks fly.
Why was the Hershey bar bummed on New Year’s Eve?
It got stuck waiting for a midnight Kiss.
Does anyone actually follow through with their New Year’s revolutions?
Yes, the earth
What’s a polar bear‘s New Year’s wish?
To stay cool all year long.
What does every New Year have in store for us?
Another 365 days!
What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?
Firecrackers.
Where do math teachers go for a New Year’s Eve party?
Times Square.
What do you say to a cow on December 31st?
Happy Moo Year!
What do criminals pay on Jan. 1?
New Year’s restitution.
What do you call a snowman party on New Year’s Eve?
A snow ball.
Why was the telephone late for work on Jan. 1?
It was busy ringing in the new year!
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
He got 12 months!
What did the kids say about the New Year’s fireworks?
They were a blast.
What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?
Social Security.
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who?
Abby New Year!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Radio. Radio who?
Radio not, it’s a New Year.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I go out for dinner on New Year’s.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Five! Five who?
Five, four, three, two, one…its Happy New Year!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scold. Scold who?
Scold enough out here to go ice skating.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Beth. Beth who?
Beth wishes for a happy new year.
Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Howie. Howie who?
Howie gonna stay up till midnight? I’m tired!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who?
Noah good restaurant open on New Year’s?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anita. Anita who?
Anita another glass of punch!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Hippy. Hippy who?
Hippy New year, dude!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who?
Ben waiting for the ball to drop all day!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cheese. Cheese who?
For cheese a jolly good fellow.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hannah. Hannah who?
Hannah Happy New Year!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Accordion. Accordion who?
Accordion to the clock, it’s midnight.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Sip! Sip who?
Sip, sip, hooray for New Year!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who?
Noah better way to ring in the New Year than with a laugh!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who?
Snowbody
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who?
Justin time to celebrate the New Year!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who?
Clock’s ticking—it’s almost midnight!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Brighton. Brighton who?
Brighton early is when I wake up on New Year’s Day.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ada. Ada who?
I Ada big dinner and now I’m too tired to watch the ball drop.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Woo. Woo who?
Calm down, the ball hasn’t dropped yet!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry! Harry who?
Harry up or you will be late for the New Year’s celebrations!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who?
Ice to meet you new year!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Time. Time who?
Time to get to Times Square!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Lettuce! Lettuce who?
Lettuce enjoy the New Year!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Finn. Finn who?
Finn-ally, it’s New Year’s Eve!
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Gladys! Gladys who?
Gladys New Year!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Keith. Keith who?
Keith calm and carry into next year.
Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Jan. Jan who?
Jan-uary is almost here again!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Joe King. Joe King who?
Joking like this is great on New Year’s Eve?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Kent. Kent who?
Kent answer the door right now, I’m watching the ball drop.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Getting! Getting who?
Getting ready for fireworks!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who?
Cow down to the New Year!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Luke! Luke who?
Luke at the fireworks! Amazing aren’t they?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wren. Wren who?
Wren will these New Year’s jokes ever end?
Which was your favorite? Let us know in a comment!
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Cindy
Welcome! I am a wife, mother, mother-in-law, Grammy, daughter, sister and retired homeschooler. I enjoy writing about things I have learned over the years, sharing recipes and tips with others and making free printables for parents and teachers.
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