Your kids will love these genius 182 Back to School Jokes for Kids! Includes 14 Knock Knock Jokes!
We have a great collection of 182 Back to School Jokes for Kids for both kids and teachers alike! There is just something about a good joke that bonds people together.
These jokes will be a great ice breaker for the early back to school days-or any school days, really! Jokes are just fun any time!
What other Back to School Jokes have you heard that you love? Leave them below in a comment and I will add them to the list with your name! (If you would like)
Have you made one up? That is even better!
More Back to School Posts
Never run out of fun and healthy lunches! Mix and Match these 100 lunchbox ideas and recipes for endless possibilities! Includes notes to add for your child!
Here are 100 Special Breakfast Recipes that will make your first day of school special!
Encourage your kids with these fun and loving 72+ Lunch and School Notes for Kids! Tuck them into their lunch, books, pockets or anywhere! Prewritten options or write your own!
Back to School Activities and Printables plus Checklists, Crafts, First Day Photos, Lunch Notes & Recipes! All you need to make this time extra fun and special!
A Back to School About Me Printable is a wonderful way to record stats and memories about your child each year on the first day of school!
Back to School Word scrambles are an enjoyable way to practice putting letters together into words and play a game at the same time.
Several versions of Free Back to School I Spy Printables for fun searching. Different difficulty levels, some in color and some to color.
These free printable Back to School Word Search puzzles in 2 levels are a fun way to learn words about Back to School!
A Classroom Scavenger Hunt is the perfect way to get the school year started and get to know your classroom! Have fun finding the things on the list!
Follow my Back to School Pinterest Board for dozens of ideas from all around the web! I am constantly finding new things to add so there will be new things all the time!
More Jokes
The Back to School Jokes
What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
Square meals
Why do calculators make great friends?
You can always count on them!
Where does a young cow eat his school lunch?
At a Calf-eteria
What do you call a vampire who teaches math?
Count Dracula
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless
What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Sum-mer
Why did the girl bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted the highest grades
How does a scientist freshen their breath?
With experi-mints (experiments)
What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together?
They had a big class trip
Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory during school hours?
Because you can’t concentrate
What contest do skunks win at school?
The smelling bee
Where do surfers go to school?
Boarding school
What’s a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Pi
Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they’re all in high school
Who flies home when school is out?
A bee student
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Stop going in circles and get to the point
Why did the elephant miss the last day of school?
He was ill-i-phant
How do you make 7 an even number?
Remove the first “s”
When is a blue book not blue anymore?
When it has been red! (read)
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot
What drink does a blackboard love?
A hot-chalk-o-late
Why was the broom late for class?
It over-swept
What building has the greatest number of stories?
The library
Why did the boy go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?
To protect himself from mathema-ticks
If you had 12 oranges, 10 strawberries, 6 apples and 5 bananas, what would you have?
A yummy fruit salad
Why is arithmetic so heavy?
Because you have to carry numbers all day
What did the student say to the teacher after they missed the first day of school?
No, ma’am. I didn’t miss it at all
Why did the boy’s grades drop after the holidays?
Because everything was marked down
What did the pen say to the pencil?
What’s your point?
Why did the dog do so well in school?
Because he was the teacher’s pet
What should you grow in a school garden?
Human beans
Where do kids in New York learn multiplication tables?
Times Square
What does a computer do at lunchtime?
Have a byte
What does an overqualified circle have?
360 degrees
What is the favorite tree of an English professor?
A poe-tree! (poetry)
Why does the math book always look sad?
They are full of problems
How does a math teacher mow their lawn?
With a pro-tractor
What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?
Someone you can always count on
What happens when a pen gets sick?
They give it Pen-icillin
Why did the computer teacher quit teaching school students?
Because he lost his drive
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom
What school is the friendliest one?
A “Hi” school (high school)
Why did the student throw her watch out of the school window?
To see time fly
What do piglets do after school?
Their ham-work
Why did the vocabulary book look so confused?
Because it lost its words
What is the taxi’s driver’s favorite school subject?
Vo-cab-ulary
What does PE stand for after class?
Physical Exhaustion
What’s the king of school supplies?
The ruler
How does a bee go to school?
It uses the school buzz
Why don’t fish go on vacation?
Because they’re always in a school
What do elves learn in class?
The elf-abet
Why did the egg get thrown out of class?
Because he kept telling yolks
What tree is a math teacher’s favorite?
A Geo-me-tree
Why did the teacher take away a student’s scissors?
So he couldn’t cut class
What tests do vampire teachers give?
Blood tests
When do student astronauts eat?
During LAUNCH time
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles, because there is a mile between each “s”
What did one wall say to the other wall at school?
“I’ll meet you at the corner!”
What does a spider love to do in school?
Work on web-sites
What school supply is always tired?
A knapsack
Why did the chimpanzee like recess?
Because he loves the monkey bars
What would happen if the dean lost their job?
They would lose his “ideanity”
Why did the boy bring a skunk to show-and-tell?
Because he thought it is show-and-smell
Why did the broom go to school?
Because it wanted to brush up on its knowledge
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven ATE nine
Why isn’t there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much
Bobby ate seven apples on the first day of school. Julia ate nine. What do they have?
A stomachache
Why can’t you do a math test in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs
Why did the student wear glasses during math class?
Because it improves di-vision
Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees
Why is 2 + 2 = 5 like your left foot?
It’s not right
What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?
A blackboard
What’s the smartest shape?
A “circle,” because it’s well-rounded in every subject
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything
What U.S. state has the most math teachers?
Math-achussets
What did the buffalo say at drop off?
Bison
Why did the fish fail his classes?
He was below C level
What do math students eat at Thanksgiving?
Pumpkin Pi
What’s a wizard’s favorite topic in English class?
Spell-ing
Why is glue terrible at math?
It always gets stuck on the problems
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school?
Time to run
Where did the grammar teacher store all her birthday gifts?
In the present tents
Why was the obtuse angle so sad on the last day of school?
Because he wasn’t right all year
What did the paper say to the eraser?
You rub me the wrong way
Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
To stay in shape
How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
Her keys were on the piano
How does a book stay warm?
By putting on its jacket
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it really wanted to be a smartie
What are the coolest letters of the alphabet?
The AC
Why shouldn’t you give your history teacher a gift?
Because he won’t like the present
What school requires you to drop out to graduate?
Sky-diving school
What do you get when you throw a million books into the ocean?
A title wave
What did the ghost teacher say to the class?
Look at the board and I will go through it again
What does a math teacher use in the campfire at summer camp?
Arithma-sticks
What does an English teacher like to eat for breakfast?
Synonym rolls
Why did the student leave their accounting course?
It was too taxing
What is the smartest bug?
A spelling bee
What is a math teacher’s favorite season?
Sum-mer
Why did the echo get detention the first day?
It kept answering back
Where do writing utensils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania
Do you know why every book in the library is the same color?
They’re all red! (read)
What dinosaur had excellent grammar and vocabulary?
The thesaurus
What do you call a pencil sharpener that can tell jokes?
A pun-cil
Why does a teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students are so bright
What kind of school do you go to if you’re a giant?
High school
Why do magicians always do well in math class?
They can handle trick questions
Why do pirates hate the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at “C” (sea)
What does a duck use to solve math problems?
A Quack-u-later (calculator)
What is a history teacher’s favorite fruit?
Dates
Why can’t you use glue on your math homework?
Because you’ll keep getting stuck on the same problem
Why did the kid eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake
What is the smartest state?
Alabama, it has four A’s and one B
How do you comfort a grammar teacher?
Say… “They’re, there, their.”
What did the pen tell the pencil on the first day of school?
My, you are looking sharp today
Why should you never argue with a ninety-degree angle?
Because it is always right
Which room can a student never enter?
A mushroom
Why did the bat miss the school bus?
Because he hung around for too long
Who is everyone’s best friend at school?
The princiPAL
What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on
Why did the boy steal a chair from the classroom?
Because the teacher told him to take a seat
What are the twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs
Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day?
It kept going back four seconds
What do you call a dishonest bookkeeper?
A lie-brarian
What is a butterfly’s favorite subject?
Mothematics
What vegetables to librarians like?
Quiet peas
Why were students doing multiplication on the floor?
Because the teacher asked them not to use tables
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm
What flies around the school at night?
An alpha-bat
Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
He wanted to test the water
What do you do if a teacher rolls their eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back
What’s a snake’s favorite subject?
Hisssstory
What school snacks are on the metric system?
Gram Crackers
What do elves do after school?
Gnome work
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet
What is a mathematical plant?
Any one with square roots
How do students get straight A’s?
With a ruler
Why was there thunder and lightning in the science lab?
The science students were brainstorming
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
What do you call a school for ice cream?
Sundae school
What is the difference between a Teacher and a Train?
The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”
Which letter in the alphabet holds the most amount of water?
The “C” s (seas)
Which school teachers have the greenest thumbs?
The kinder-garden teachers
Why did the girl do her homework on an airplane?
She was trying to reach higher education
What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of dancing?
Square dancing
Why did the cyclops teacher have such an easy first day of school?
He only had one pupil
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
Bookworms
What are 10 things a teacher can always count on?
Their fingers
What did the eraser say after the first day of school?
I don’t think I’m going to make it to graduation
Why did the obtuse angle go to school early?
Because it heard there were multiplication tables to learn and it didn’t want to be “a-cute” to miss them
Where are the Great Plains located?
At the great airports
What is a science teacher’s favorite type of tree?
Chemis-tree
What do you call a square that was in an accident?
A rect-angle
Why did the student bring a synonym roll to school?
Because he wanted to spice up his vocabulary
Why do fireflies get bad grades?
Because they are not bright enough
Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yoke
Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes
What’s the smartest letter in the alphabet?
The Ys (wise)
Why was the school cafeteria’s clock always behind?
Because it was taking too many lunch breaks
Are all monsters bad at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
She couldn’t control her pupils
Where do sheep go for a tropical summer vacation?
The Baa-Haa-Mas (Bahamas)
Why are the dark ages named that?
Because they have so many knights
What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?
Knight school
What grades does a pirate get?
High Cs (seas)
How many letters are in the alphabet?
11: T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T
What’s a frog’s favorite year?
A leap year
Why are fish so clever?
Because they spend so much time in schools
Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Goat. Goat who?
Goat to school!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who?
Never mind, this is pointless.
Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Fran. Fran who?
Fran-tic on the first day of school.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who?
Pencil fall down if you don’t wear a belt!
Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Gracie. Gracie who?
Gracie about my new teacher.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys, who?
Gladys the weekend; no homework!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who?
Alpaca the lunch, we’re going to school!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Haden. Haden who?
Haden seek is my favorite recess game.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Teddy. Teddy who?
Teddy (today) is the first day of school!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Isabelle. Isabelle who?
Isabelle going to ring so school starts?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Irish. Irish who?
Irish it was still summer vacation!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin Justin who?
Just in time for the first day of school.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Felix. Felix who?
Felix-cited about the new school year!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who?
Noah more summer; it’s time for school!
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Cindy
Welcome! I am a wife, mother, mother-in-law, Grammy, daughter, sister and retired homeschooler. I enjoy writing about things I have learned over the years, sharing recipes and tips with others and making free printables for parents and teachers.
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Oh my gosh. What an amazing collection of back to school jokes. So many good ones. Thank you!
I’m so glad you like them! 🙂