Here are 64 Presidents Day Jokes for Kids that will have your kids elected the funniest kids on the block!
Do your kids vote joke telling as a super fun activity? If so, we have a great collection of Presidents Day Jokes for Kids that they will elect the very best out there!
What other Presidents Day Jokes have you heard that you love? Leave them below in a comment and I will add them to the list with your name!
Have you made one up? That is even better!
More Presidents Day Posts
This Presidents Day Unit Study includes all you need to learn with your students in a fun way with dozens of videos, crafts, games, printables and recipes!
Everyone can play with these two Free Printable Presidents Day Word Searches in Two Levels for Home School, Classroom or even Adult Fun! These Presidents Day How Many Words Printables and Presidents Day Word scrambles are an entertaining way to practice putting letters together into words by playing a game at the same time! They come in 2 levels so all can play and are free of course!
These Over 100 Red White and Blue Patriotic Recipes aren’t presidential exactly but very patriotic. They will fit in with the theme of presidents very well if you would like some more ideas.
Follow my Presidents Day Pinterest Board for dozens of ideas from all around the web! I am constantly finding new things to add so there will be new things all the time!
More Jokes
The Presidents Day Jokes
Mr. Red and Mrs. Red live in the red house, Mr. Purple and Mrs. Purple live in the purple house and Mr. and Mrs. Green live in the green house. Who lives in the white house?
The president!
What did Abe Lincoln put on his pancakes?
Lincoln Log Cabin Syrup
Was General Washington a handsome man?
Yes, he was George-eous!
What’s the most popular automobile brand for presidents?
Lincoln
What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
Liberty
What was Geroge Washington’s favorite tree?
The Infan-tree
If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get?
George Squashington
Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?
He didn’t want any Bushes at the White House
Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin?
Because it was too cold to be born outside!
Why did George Washington put a chicken on guard duty?
He wanted to have “chicken catch a Tory.”
Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore
What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?
Mt. Vermin!
Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing?
WASHington
What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents?
A CORNservative
What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?
Monti jello!
What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They were all born on holidays
Which US president planted the most trees?
Wood-row Wilson!
How did George Washington speak to his army?
In general terms.
How do you make a president laugh?
Tell him a joke that’s Oval Office-approved!
Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?
They’re both on the (s)cent!
Why are there so few pictures of the 16th President?
Because he was always a blinkin’
What is Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable?
Barackoli
What did Franklin D. Roosevelt say after he dropped his pickle?
“I want a new dill.”
What did they call George Washington’s false teeth?
Presidentures
Why did George Washington have problems sleeping?
Because he couldn’t lie
How do you to play War of 1812?
You burn down a White House
Why does the president eat so many bananas?
Because he needs his POTUSium
When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around?
They were very helpful during the “Roverlutionary War”
Why was George Washington buried standing up?
Because he never lied
What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
Liber-tea
What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?
Ape Lincoln
Who was elected after the first president?
The second president
What’s a president’s least favorite dessert?
Im-peach-ment pie!
What did the Stamp Act do?
Helped Americans lick the British
How was George Washington able to be so healthy?
He had a strong constitution
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom
What did the President say when his prepared remarks got blown away by the wind?
Nothing, he was speechless
Did you know that one of the presidents actually found his job online?
Abraham LinkedIn
What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?
Get in the boat, men!
If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?
Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to go
Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?
To keep his head warm
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can’t sit down
Why did John Quincy Adams go to school?
To get a Presidential education
Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?
Thomas Jeffer’s son
Why didn’t George Washington’s father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree?
Because George was still holding the axe
Who objected to a kitchen remodel at the White House?
The President’s Cabinet
What was the most popular dance in 1776?
Indepen-dance
Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?
Laughayette.
How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House?
First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other
What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?
George Washingtoon!
When is Presidents Day a sad reminder?
If your wallet is filled with pictures of the first president
Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested?
For committing Valley Forgery
Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with a hatchet?
Because he couldn’t find the chain saw
Do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?
I thought he lived in Washington!
Where do presidents store their armies?
In his “sleevies.”
What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?
George Washingtoon!
What do you get when Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, and Roosevelt fall in poison ivy?
Mt. Rashmore
Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?
People General Lee don’t find them funny
Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?
He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill
What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?
One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill
What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous baseball player?
Babe Lincoln
What would George Washington be if he were alive today?
A very, very old man
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
George Washington.
George Washington who?
George Washington who?!! Didn’t you learn anything in history class?!!
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Cindy
Welcome! I am a wife, mother, mother-in-law, Grammy, daughter, sister and retired homeschooler. I enjoy writing about things I have learned over the years, sharing recipes and tips with others and making free printables for parents and teachers.
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