Your kids will be red, white and blue with laughter with these 87 Patriotic Jokes for Kids!
We have a great collection of 87 Patriotic Jokes for Kids for both kids and adults alike! There is just something about a good joke that bonds people together. Your festivities will be even more entertaining with these!
What other Patriotic Jokes have you heard that you love? Leave them below in a comment and I will add them to the list with your name! (If you would like)
Have you made one up? That is even better!
More Patriotic Posts
Patriotic Trail Mix, Patriotic Deviled Jell-O Eggs, Patriotic Bark, Easy Patriotic Fudge, Patriotic Truffles, Patriotic Charcuterie Board and Easy Patriotic Cookies are other fun and easy patriotic treats!
Also try our Patriotic I Spy, Patriotic Word Scramble and Patriotic Word Search, all in 2 levels!
Definitely check out Over 50 Free patriotic red, white and blue printables activities crafts and recipes and 27 Patriotic Flag Recipes for your family to enjoy for the 4th of July, Memorial Day, Veterans Day or Flag Day! And Over 100 Red White and Blue Patriotic Recipes will have you ready for any festive Patriotic holiday; sweet, savory and beverages too!
Follow my Patriotic Pinterest Board for dozens of ideas from all around the web! I am constantly finding new things to add so there will be new things all the time!
More Jokes
The Patriotic Jokes
What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!
What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck?
One has his face on a bill, the other has a bill on his face
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting!
What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?
John HAMcock!
What is the best sport to play on July 4th?
Flag football
Why were the early American settlers like ants?
Because they lived in colonies
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom!
What is the name of the cat who said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?
Paw Revere
What did the little firecracker say to the bigger firecracker?
Hi, Pop!
Who loves singing the patriotic song that starts with, “Oh say, can you see?”
An optometrist
What’s red, white, blue and green?
A seasick Uncle Sam!
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill
What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
Revo-lotion!
What beverage do you drink on July 4th?
Liber-tea
What did the firecracker eat at the movies?
Pop-corn
Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!
Why is Abraham Lincoln regarded as America’s least guilty president?
Because he is in a cent
What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British
What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?
A bald beagle!
What do Santa Claus and a flag have in common?
They both hang out at a pole
What is a hungry boy’s favorite picnic event?
The snack race!
Why did the duck say “Bang!”?
Because he was a firequacker!
What happens if something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore?
I don’t know, but it will be a monumental disaster
Why did the hot dog go to the 4th of July party?
Because it heard it was buns of fun
How do you refer to a dog that fights for freedom and serves as a protective symbol?
A revolutionary war-dog
Which flag is the most highly rated?
The American flag. It has 50 stars!
What’s red, white, blue, and green?
A patriotic pickle!
What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?
The Ducklaration of Independence!
What do you think the Statue of Liberty stands for?
She can’t sit down
Which letter is the coolest every 4th of July?
An Iced T
What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!
In what ways does a healthy person resemble the United States of America?
They have both good constitutions
What is George Washington’s favorite football team?
The New England Patriots.
What did one of the firecrackers say to the other?
My pop is bigger than your pop
Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall!
What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?
A powdered wigwam!
What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
Liber-tea
Where is the capital in Washington, D.C.?
At the beginning
What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
Polly wants a fire-cracker
What’s a firecracker’s favorite summer treat?
Pop-sicles
What do the moon and the Founding Fathers have in common?
Both have been through revolution
What do our flag and a sad candy cane have in common?
They’re both red, white and blue
Why couldn’t George Washington fall asleep?
Because he couldn’t lie
Which is the smartest state in America?
Alabama. It has four A’s and one B
What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat?
A bigger target
How was the food at the Fourth of July picnic?
The hot dogs were bad and the brats were the wurst!
What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?
“Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!”
What do you call a duck who betrays his flock?
Beneduck Arnold
Which colonists told the most jokes?
Punsylvanians!
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
Dino-mite!
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!
Was the Declaration of Independence signed in Philadelphia?
No, it was signed in ink
What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
Keep in torch!”
What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?
Fire Cracker Jacks
What do you eat on July 5th?
Independence Day–old pizza
What rock band has four members who never sing and just stand around?
Mount Rushmore
What are the most patriotic flowers?
Yankee Doodle Dandylions
What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!
Do you know what the favorite food of Revolutionary War patriots was?
Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
How do pandas manage to stay cool during Independence Day?
They use bear conditioning
What march would you play at a jungle parade?
“Tarzan Stripes Forever”!
What would happen if you crossed Washington’s house with a swarm of nasty insects?
Mt. Vermin
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they’re both cracked!
What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!
How did the Boston colonists’ dogs protest against England?
The Boston flea party
Which Founding Father is a dog’s favorite?
Bone Franklin
How come there aren’t any knock-knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings
Why should you research fireworks before purchasing them?
To get the most bang for your buck
What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry!
What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!
What did Luke Skywalker say on Independence Day?
May the fourth be with you!
What do you usually call a snowman every 4th of July?
A puddle
Why did the firecracker go to the hair salon?
It needed to trim its bangs.
What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?
Monti jello!
What did the American colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
Tea-shirts
On July 4th, what did the ghost say?
Red, white, and boo!
Who has to work on the 4th of July?
Fire works
Have you heard about the angry firecracker?
He was so mad that he exploded!
Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?
Laughayette
What do you call a cartoonist who is an American revolutionary?
A Yankee Doodler
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
You stole my thunder!
Why was eagle hunting prohibited in America?
Because it was ill-eagle
What is the weight of freedom?
A washing-ton
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Cindy
Welcome! I am a wife, mother, mother-in-law, Grammy, daughter, sister and retired homeschooler. I enjoy writing about things I have learned over the years, sharing recipes and tips with others and making free printables for parents and teachers.
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